We are a bipolar Halloween list over here on the couch, folks.

As yesterday was the family friendly light-hearted film about death, mortality, and forgetting those you love in the beyond(?) we shift gears tonight to watch a more adult icon; Scream.

Wait, Why am I Laughing?: I’m not a gore porn guy. I hate horror, I hate slasher flicks, and I hate gratutious violent against women; I literally walked out of the theater from The Hills Have Eyes.

However, rarely is there a movie that gets so much damn buzz within the genre that anxiously forces me to press play. This was certainly one of them.

Yes, it has a ton of suspense moments and haunting violence, but it somehow manages to be all of those things while also feeling like a light comedy and teen drama?

Scream is, at its core, a satire about the slasher genre while still being a slasher film in its own right; it’s brilliant!

It’s satirical element is so good that even when they decided to make Scream 4 all those years later, the formula still managed to work as it poked fun at itself for being a reboot.

Sorry, back to the original.

DREW: Drew Motha F**** Barrymore. With the iconic lip she opens this movie with one of the most notable death scenes in film. It’s crazy to me how she literally just came on to this project for this opening sequence and has still managed to be one of the most memorable parts of the franchise!

As I said before, I don’t like gratutious violence against women in movies, but this scene is vulgar before he ever puts a knife to her. He’s isn’t even in the room and you feel your skin crawl. The killer is toying with her, keeping her on the phone, building her terror before he decides to make his move.

It’s smart and truly effective.

Rose McGowan: I love me a character that won’t go down without a fight. They ultimately die, yeah! But they’re not going down like a powerless victim. Rose in this movie gives it everything she has to survive this psycho!

Okay, sure, trying to go out the doggy door might be one of the most foolish strategies I have ever seen, but she’s desperate! Give her a break!- Poor choice of words…

Great Who Done It: Not only is it a slasher movie, but it’s a real mystery; just who is killing all of these upper middle class white kids? As a viewer you play along. You want to get to the bottom of it! Was I surprised by the result? No…

Of course not. Look at Billy’s face- I bet this wasn’t even his first murder tour for crying out loud. Stu being his helper? Yeah, sure that was a bit of a shock I guess…

Most Iconic Costume Ever?: I don’t think it needs to be mentioned, but just in case, the ghost mask may very well be the most popular halloween mask of all time. I truly can’t think of another that competes with the status of this thing.

Trio: I am a member of the church of Neve Campbell. I find her mesmerizing and she has the best natural “I’m beautifully tormented” face ever. Sidney, Gale, and Dewey have made for one hell of a film trio( that survived four movies?!) and I’m excited to learn they will all be returning for the reboot of the franchise.

This movie might have made it higher up the list if it were actually a legit halloween film but, I digress.

Do yourselves a favor and watch the original when you get a chance. The second is alright, and the third is quite boring. The fourth should honestly replace the third… Just saying.